I’ve never asked for this.
I asked every day, with prayers that dripped off my lips and ascended into heaven.
I always asked for this.
But I didn’t understand –
like a child begging to be an adult
only to become an adult begging to be a child again
I didn’t comprehend
I didn’t know how heavy the expectations would be –
when I asked to carry them
when I called out, challenging the world to give me more
I didn’t realize she was listening
And now I’m haunted
forever convinced that this
is only the prelude to something bigger
that I’m on the precipice looking over
and there’s nowhere to go but
I take pride in the calling
So I close my eyes
and I’m falling